leave it all behind
by garyprestons
Summary: A bit of a different twist on the end of 1x06.


"Because they do. They do find you attractive."

Part of her feels like she should demand a comprehensive list of the people who find her so attractive, because clearly they're in hiding. But she can also tell that from the way he's squeezing her hands, he's including himself in that pronoun, and really, that's enough for her. Even if things have never worked out between them, the idea that Gary thinks she's attractive is positively thrilling.

It's just a dance, right? It's one of her favourite songs, everyone else is paired up and ignoring them, and she's always really wanted to do this.

She's had fantasies about dancing with him before. Not the silly riotous dancing they do at the clubs, nor the elegant tango that she'd briefly considered while taking lessons with him earlier in the year. No, she's been after that one perfect dance since the day they met back at uni. Being in his arms, looking into his eyes, all the while gracefully avoiding stepping on his toes.

But she has a tendency to stick to the sidelines during slow songs; it's safer there. He's not taking no for an answer though, and she supposes if this is the last time she might ever see him, it's time to be brave. So she clasps her hands behind his neck and feels him do the same around her waist, and there's enough space between them that it feels friendly. Respectable. Safe. There's that word again, and it's not quite true. She feels like any second she's going to say something stupid and ruin everything, so she keeps her mouth firmly shut. Which is all well and great for the first verse and chorus, but as they reach the midway point, he starts talking.

"So, um, don't tell anyone I'm playing favourites, but I think I'm going to miss you the most," he says with a bit of a grin, looking sheepish and a little sad.

"Oh yeah? Why's that?" she asks. "Because I'm the only one crazy enough to risk dancing with you?"

"Yeah, that's why," he laughs after a moment, and she's caught the hesitation. Clive had told her that he really didn't want to go, that he was waiting for someone to stop him. She'd thought that was her cue, but she couldn't even get the words out right with a speech prepared, so how does she expect herself to string more than a few words together right now, with his arms around her.

She realises they're standing a bit closer than they were before.

"You'll write us, yeah? Send us postcards about your travels. It's not forever or anything dreary like that." She's not sure who she's trying to convince at this point. Regardless, she's obviously doing a terrible job of it because she feels her eyes well up with tears and he stops swaying her to look at her in alarm.

"Come here," he says quietly, and wraps his arms completely around her, hugging her tightly to him and pressing a kiss into her hair. She'll miss his hugs so much, how he holds her a bit closer than anyone else does, how he smells lovely like baking cookies and it's just rather comforting. It's why she feels herself stop crying immediately and why she hugs him back in response, never wanting to let go.

And then, she hears him say close to her ear: "Ask me to stay."

Her heart soars for a moment. It's everything she wants, but she knows it's not what he wants. It's his future, his career, a chance to do something amazing. And even if it's not, it's certainly not her place to make him stay even though she so desperately wants him to.

"Gary," she begins, but he's already letting go of her, his arms releasing her and she realises the song's over. Once again, she's said the wrong thing.

He kisses her again, this time on the forehead. "Thanks for the dance."

The tears are back. "I'll miss you."

His gaze flicks downward, almost as if he's avoiding her eyes when he says it. "I'll miss you, too." He takes her hand, just for a moment. "Bye, Miranda." And then he's gone, off to say goodbye to the rest of his friends and family, and Stevie scampers over to her side.

"Well? Did you tell him?"

Miranda shakes her head sadly, and then glances down at Stevie with narrowed eyes, suddenly remembering. "Oi, you were supposed to get the song switched!"

Stevie doesn't look guilty in the slightest. "I know, but you were dancing! With Gary! I thought, let things simmer for a bit and see what happens. I expected a snog; I'm a bit disappointed but not entirely surprised."

Miranda smiles sadly at her tiny friend before glancing up just in time to see Gary disappear out the door of the restaurant, his pack over one shoulder. Her heart hasn't quite decided if she's just made a courageous decision, or the worst mistake of her life. Only time will tell. They'd found one another again after ten years.

Maybe, she thinks, they'll find one another again.


End file.
